Barbarian Networking - Modern Barbarian

Your network is your tribe, and networking is how you grow that tribe.

The word networking has gained a bad name over the years that stems out of networking events where people show up and throw business cards at each other and/or try to sell to each other. Neither of that is what networking is. Networking is essentially just relationship building. This seems weird for many as building relationships has always been a secondary or unintentional consequences of other activities such as work and school. You go to work you get relationships with your coworkers. You go to school, you get “friends.”

Networking just takes an intentional approach to building and maintaining relationships in your life. For many this is natural but for just as many it is not. Whether they are more introverted or shy (not the same thing), or they are just a busy person, they need to take a more intentional view at it to make sure it gets done.

This relationship building is one of the corner stones that HUMINT (Human Intelligence) operations are built on. whether it’s an intel operative in a foreign country or a patrol officer working his own city. One of the first things they do is start developing relationships. These relationships allow them to keep a finger on the pulse of the area they are working. For a homesteader this could be meeting and becoming friends with other people at the farmers market so they can trade produce, or other products but whether it’s for business, intelligence, or your personal life, if you want to be successful at anything you need to be deliberate in your actions.

Pretty simple in theory

Build relationships right? Most of us can do this naturally if all the conditions are right or the situations are forced on us like work or school but for most, when they set out to do it deliberately, if they ever do, it tends to not work out as well.

This is because most people don’t fully understand the patterns and behaviors that are established in our instincts when it comes to building relationships Or they try to build relationships with the wrong people.

Like so many things it starts with research and planning. Map it out if you have to and start there, write down the people you know, how many of them do you consider friends, and how many family, Then You need to know what your goals are for your network, which of these people line up with that goal, have a similar goal themselves, or might be able to help you out in some way?

If your goal is just to expand your personal network this makes that easy as the only requirement may be they share at least one interest or view point or maybe you have more requirements for your personal network, but that would be the bare minimum.

If it’s for business what are your business goals, who can help you achieve them and if you don’t know the people who can help you, who do you know that knows those people?

Now if its simply for friendship and personal networks, What are your interests, who do you know that shares those interests. If you don’t already know anyone that is similarly minded to you or shares interests, where are some places those type of people frequent(Where do you frequent is a good place to start.) or where could they frequent? Are their stores for your interests, or clubs, or businesses offering services to your interests in your area? Think gyms, martial arts schools, hobby related stores and so on.

Now whether your trying to expand your business network or make friends go into it trying to make friends. Even if your goals are business related. Start from the mind set of starting a personal relationship, the business can/will come later. Just have a conversation. It might seem like dating and in a lot of ways it is which is what makes it feel weird or some people but building relationships takes the same things whether its romantic, or plutonic.

A network is not a digital asset

Now that is not to say that the same principles and tactics don’t apply, or can’t be used on social media, because they can and you can always use social media to find local groups or individuals but it should not stop there.

You could have the max number of friends on social media and still not have a network. Social media facilitates communication, but it is not the network it self. You still need to have coffee with people, meet up in person, take interest in their lives beyond just what you need or want out of them, otherwise you are just a user.

Many of the problems people face today can be traced back to disconnection and that is facilitated by social media and online pseudo relationships, get back to meeting and hanging out with people in person. You cant hug someone thought he internet. You cant pull them off the ledge through facebook. Human beings need in person contact.

Barbarian Networks

You are likely to have multiple networks, at the minimum you will probably have a work network and personal network, regardless most networks no matter how they are categorized by you are going to consist of three kinds of people.

The inner circle

Your most trusted friends, your long term and vetted contacts. People that will look out for you and you them. Your kindred spirits and those with common goals. This is where your brothers, those you consider family, and at least some of your tribe will be, this might be your whole tribe if it is small. They go here because your inner circle needs to be guarded and exclusive. Only the best of the best that you have vetted, and trust with that which is most important to you. These relationships need to take priority.

The outer circle

Your friends, relatives, acquaintances and other short term contacts are here these are those you have partially vetted and given strategic positions in your network. They may be business partners, friends, and relatives. Some of your tribe will likely fall here such as wives of brothers or kids of brothers, relationships like that. These are the people that you have recently met, maybe they are not the type of person you are looking for or you just don’t know them well enough or haven’t vetted them completely enough to bring them into your inner circle.

You wont spend as much time or effort maintaining the relationship with these contacts but they are good to keep in some contact with as you never know when you might have a need they can help you with, vice versa, or how they could wind up as a long term contact someday.

Outsiders

Everyone that you don’t know or know minimally. There is obviously no relationship to maintain here but you should always be looking for people who fit your goals, tribe, potential friends what ever your network goals may be. People today are far to disconnected from each other and that needs to change.

Don’t forget to branch out

Don’t stick to just your industry or circle. If you are a programmer, make sure your network consists of more than other programmers. You never know when you might be able to help someone by knowing someone else in another industry.

A sales guy could have a potential sale walking out the door that mentions they are hungry. Maybe he refers them to a local restaurant thats hard to get into where he knows the hostess and tells them to mention his name and she will get them in. He didn’t make the meal but the client will remember he facilitated it if he comes back later to make the purchase. If he didn’t know the hostess and only knows sales guys he wouldn’t be able to do that.

Super Connectors

You should always be on the look out for and strive to have at least one super connector in your network. Especially when you’re growing a business network. Super connectors are people that either intentionally or as a side effect of their situation (profession or socially) are connected to a large number of individuals in a variety of bubbles (industry or location), professions, or social circumstances.

A prime example that can be both personal or business related is a bar tender, if the bar is an “industry” bar. You may have heard someone talk about thats a cop bar, or fire fighter bar or lawyer bar and so on. Bartenders have to be social for their job, and they meet a lot of people both on the customer side and the vender, service, business side. You never know who they could introduce you to if you need them to.

Another example could be an instructor at a course for one of your interests. They spend their whole days with people related to your interests or profession and can probably introduce you or at least point you in the right direction of people who you might want or need to meet.

Mindset shift

The best mindset shift you can make for intentional networking is adopting a mind set of generosity. An easy way to look at this is anytime someone does something for your find something you can do for them. Whether thats a thank you gift, or doing them a favor in return.

The next step is to start helping people with no expectation of reward. Do the favors first and keep in contact. More than likely it will come back around to you in someway later on. You help someone on the side of the road and turns out they are the hiring manager at a company you applied for. Events like that happen every day. Could be as small as letting someone bum a cigarette or recommending a product or person to someone you met on the subway.

At a minimum if you meet someone, and don’t get their info but you are likely to see them again at least remember their name so you can strike up a conversation when you see them again.

Environment is key

Join clubs, go to specialty venues, conferences related to your interests, goals, or industry. If you looking for farmers go to the farmers market not the grocery store. If your looking for high end clients don’t go to McDonalds, this is even more important for business.

Bottom line

What is your networking goal? Where will those people hang out? Now go there and Strike up a conversation. If there is events or classes that are applicable go there first as it will be easier to meet people under those situations. Then if you meet someone set up another meet up or something and just try to stay in contact and maintain a relationship. Now I will say that it sounds easy on paper, but the reason i say go to classes or events more so then just going to stores is that if you go to a store built around your hobby or where the people like you go, they are less likely to able to take time to just talk they are probably busy and have other errands to run. People going to events plan to be there for a longer time frame and are more in the proper mind set.

A side note for employees and job seekers

This all still applies to you. You are not hired by a company, you are being hired by a person. If the person doesn’t like you your not getting hired. All opportunity flows through people, being able to network as an employee is just as important as it is for business owners.